my mouth is open, my book is shut
i feel like i am stuck in this what-do-i-do-now part of my life and it is very confusing and depressing. where is the light at the end of my tunnel?
i would rather get burritos than flowers
It’s crazy how such a tiny, miniscule thing can have such an impact on your life.
I don’t know if I could say that I found myself before I was even old enough to drink, but I know that I had some of the best experiences of my life.
Back then, I traveled a lot. I was never home. If I went home, it was for a brief moment to pack my things and head to my next adventure. I was young, spontaneous, and probably stupid (sometimes I slept in the parking lots of rest stops). But it was the most eye-opening time of my life, and I loved it.
I found my best friend on a random trip to Chicago. We went to a random show and met awesome people. That person is still my best friend, years later.
There are many people that will never be able to say they’ve packed up some things and drove to the east coast just to see a certain spot, packed behind beach houses and residential neighborhoods. I still remember that place. It was in Maryland, and it was a playground with swings and the ocean tide washing toward my feet, and it was the most calm I’ve ever been. I remember just watching the ocean and somehow all of my worries slipped away for that period of time.
I went to places when I was nineteen that most people will never go in their lifetime. I met wonderful people. I know what it was like to go to Newbury Comics in Boston in the winter time. I went to the 9:30 club in Washington, D.C. I ate sushi near the shore in Annapolis. I spent hours in coffee shops, reading books, in New York City. I remember listening to Death Cab For Cutie and driving through New Jersey.
Maybe my life is a tad less exciting. I live on the west coast, I have a long-term relationship, and I have a fairly stable job. I don’t travel anymore, not really. But every time I find something like this, a little staple of my former self, my heart smiles. I still yearn for new places, for new experiences. But I cannot forget that I’ve already seen so much, experienced so much, and am grateful for the person that I was, and am now.